GRR. ARGH.

I have 5 days left here in college, and I just want to get through it. But no one around me seems to understand the concept of shutting the hell up, getting off my back about bullshit techniques that are completely unpractical for me to do, or not completely screwing up everything that might affect me. This may sound selfish. But god dammit, I have worked my ass off for this, and I don't give a shit about anyone else's crap right now. 

That being said, there are a couple people in my life that have been nothing but good to me, that I have no problems with, and who are being way more supportive than I have any right to ask for from them. For them, they have earned the right to ask me for anything, to vent to me about anything, and I'll gladly do whatever I can for them. To those two people, I owe a huge debt of gratitude. 

I Don't Belong Here

I don't belong here.

This world feels so pathetic to me.

In the shadows, I am at peace.

In the darkness behind my eyes, I can finally relax.

My memories are blurred.

My visions of what was come to me in negative images, like staring into a flame and then closing your eyes.

I can see our home, dark and glorious.

Our children, Illusia and Cartyl, standing proudly at our side as we look out from our balcony upon our beautiful kingdom. The sound of perfect music fills the air. Velvet-smoke filled words this world couldn't comprehend. In this moment I am calm. In this place, I know I am safe from all. Alone in my bed, I dream of these memories. Dreams so vivid, I feel as though they've happened in the day. Yet waking, I find myself alone in my bed, back in this realm that doesn't understand. I sit up, remembering the dreams, and wait for darkness to come again. For the visions of what was to return fully to my eyes. And as I walk again in this world, I am left with the same painful, yet beautiful knowledge.

I don't belong here